This will be my third weight loss blog. Pathetic, I know. I'm hoping that this time, I'll be able to lose the weight and keep it off.
If you're reading this, you know me personally. If you don't, then you'll get to know me as I get to know myself again. A lot of you know the old me. The happy, 140 lb, nerdy, funny me. I'm no longer that person, and haven't been in a long time. I don't know where she is, or when exactly I lost her. My goal is to find that girl and get reacquainted with her. In the spirit of full disclosure, I'm going lay it all on the line in this blog. I've been making a lot of excuses, and I'm ready to take full responsibility for my actions. As of today I am 198 lbs. This is the heaviest I have ever been, and quite frankly it both scares and disgusts me. How did this happen? Why did I let this happen?
Well, I found myself slipping into depression over the past few years. And through that depression, I found comfort in food. I'd eat to feel happy, and keep eating to stay happy. I would eat if I was hungry, but mostly because I was bored. I lost over 30 pounds last year and got to my goal weight, but I got lazy and complacent and the weight came back. I saw it coming and I didn't do anything to stop it. My view of myself has been skewed. I don't know who I am anymore, I don't know what I'm doing, or where I'm going. It isn't until I look at a picture of myself (which I avoid at all costs, unless I'm behind someone or it's a head shot) that I realize the severity of my "condition". I'm fat. And have been for a while. I can't sugar coat it anymore, and I'm not looking for someone to tell me otherwise. This is the truth and it's about time I face the facts.
So, I'm starting over. This is probably going to be the hardest thing I've ever done, but I'm up for the challenge. There is no looking back now. Tomorrow I start the Take Shape for Life program. I'm really excited about this. Basically, its a MediFast meal system where I eat 5 prepared meals and one Lean & Green meal. I get a Heath Coach to help me and give me support when I need it. I also have my step mom and dad who are on the program as well to be my support system. My step mom is my biggest inspiration through all of this. Her transformation and weight loss journey is truly amazing.
Here are a few of my goals:
1. To be happy, fit, and healthy
2. To lose at least 50 lbs
3. To be able to go clothes shopping without having to reach all the way in the back of the rack or at the bottom of the shelf to find my size
4. To go clothes shopping without having the trip end in tears
5. To actaully be able to wear the clothes I have in my closets and drawers
6. To regain the confidence I once had.
I'm hoping that through this blog I'll be able to inspire someone. My intention is to post everyday about my day, the mile stones, challenges, and overall feelings. I welcome any comments, advice, or encouragement. I will not, however, tolerate anyone who wants to discourage me, bring me down, or judge me. I do that to myself enough, I don't need your help. I thank you all for reading this, and being apart of my journey. Hopefully, you'll all be there at the end. Until tomorrow....
First off I want to say Congrats on making the choice to get healthy (even if its the 3rd try). That's better than just giving up completely. We all fall down...its getting back up that counts. Take it one day at a time. I have lost about 24 lbs in the past 2 months. I don't post as much as I used to but I have been seeing some progress. Just know it takes time...lots of time. Oh how I wished it would melt off in one day! It's a lot of hard work but each day it gets easier. My husband is training me for a 5k, which has its own challenges. But know that it can be done. Take it one dat at a time, one small goal at a time. You can and will do this!
ReplyDeleteThanks Yashi, that means a lot! :)
DeleteOh and secondly... Your blog looks beautimus! Love it!
ReplyDeleteGood luck!! Diet and exercise daily, stay motivated and focused, and lean on friends when you need to. I applaud you for taking this step and being so public about it.
ReplyDeleteThanks! This was the only way I could think of that would hold me accountable while I try to reach my goals. I'm not easily embarrassed or ashamed so that makes it easier to just put it all out there.
DeleteI am going to bookmark your blog and use it as encouragement for myself.
ReplyDeleteYou have known me since elementary school, so you know that I have been pretty much overweight my whole life. I finally got fed up three years ago when I was at 230lbs. I managed to lose 50lbs, but I have since gained 10 of it back and have been sitting at 186 for the past...well, almost year now. At least it was assuring that I could easily maintain my weight!
Anyway, you have inspired me to seriously get back on the weight loss wagon! I want to (hopefully) lose another 30 to 40 pounds before my wedding at the end of March! I already have a dress which was too small to begin with, so the dream is to actually TAKE IN some of that dress!
I am here to give you all the cheers and encouragement! If you need anyone to talk to or are feeling a tough day coming on, message me, please!
I'm happy for you Melissa! I'm here for you as well if you need any advice or encouragement. I know you'll be able to lose the weight and keep it off if you focus. You have a very good motivator with your wedding on the horizon. Let me know if you need anything at all!!
Delete